It’s been ten days since I was discharged. Now that I’m home, things are kind of sinking in. In the space of two and a half-three months, I went from living with a group of people I’d made good friends with, in a new city, in a new country. I went from being a student… Continue reading Discharge, uni and a truckload of anxiety
So things have been hectic the past few weeks, and will be hectic for another while, which I will talk about if if if things all work out. I say if because last Thursday I saw my CPN and psychiatrist and was told I’m currently not doing well enough to go to university. I was… Continue reading New meds, a goodbye and the anxious interim
“I had no idea. I never would have guessed. You’re always so calm and collected and together.” The reaction is always the same. Teachers, family members, the few friends I’ve told. At work, someone comments that I am always so calm, that nothing seems to phase me. Someone else makes a ‘you’re so OCD’ joke… Continue reading (Not so) Calm and collected
The other night, my thoughts run, trip, stumble over each other. Round and round and round and round and round in bloody dizzy circles. I spend the night making mental lists. Running over what it is I need to do and when. Over and over, until the mental list is no longer suffice and I need… Continue reading The anxiety marathon
There were three psych meds that I’d heard of before psych meds became my reality. Three psych meds that I’d come across in movies or the papers or books. Three psych meds that sounded Big and Scary and for the ‘Real Crazies’. Reserved for the corridor shufflers, the droolers, the hand tremblers. I continued to… Continue reading The thorazine shuffle
First of, I feel like I am not entitled to blog about this. I feel wary of labelling this as ‘obsessive compulsive’, despite the fact I’ve been told that’s what it is, despite the fact it is – as recently as two months ago- written in my files. I feel like by whinging about the… Continue reading Get me out of the grid!
On one of the first morning’s of my first inpatient admission, I woke up with horrendous pain in my shoulder and upper back. Stiff as a board, there was no position I could sit or lie in, no number of pillows or balled jumpers stuffed behind me that helped ease the discomfort. I rarely take… Continue reading Sick brain, sick body